Sitting alone in a state where i know no one is making me a little lonely tonight. i feel like an emotional train wreck, i never know what kind of mood i'm going to be in. sometimes i'm enjoying it here and other times i wish i was back in Norman. I know that moving away and starting a job is part of "growing up" but it is a lot more than that i feel. i don't think parents prepare children for the emotional effects of moving and growing up. it seems like moving away to college is the first step and parents cry and its exciting to be away from your parents when you're 18, but after the 4+ years of being at college you are then expected to pick up and move after graduation to get a job that you have worked for. but thats no big deal, there are no tears, there is no excitement. you develop and grow friendships in high school, then move away, some you keep and some linger away. you make friends in college, then move away, will some stay? Nights like this it makes me feel like they are all lingering away. all i have is the internet and a cell phone to keep in touch with people. but how much can you say on the phone and show on the internet?

well kids, i've done it! i nailed a job interview and was offered a position immediately. problem is i still have two interviews this week with potentially better jobs, so how do you accept a job but allow them not to start you for another week?? easy! play the "i-just-moved-and-am-still-getting-settled" so we'll see i may be starting a job next week that is very similar to what i just left, or could have taken a drug test today for no reason!

since I have no job and nothing to do, i've taken up a new hobby. now i know you're asking yourself "what could it be?" tap dancing? belly dancing? gardener? no no....cupcake decorating! jealous? you should be. you can check some of them out at www.flickr.com/kellyballs
i'm still trying to figure out what theme cupcakes i should make for hai's birthday (which is sunday) so any ideas would be greatly appreciated. and by the way, hai is the cupcake person, not me, i would rather have brownies. but its a good thing because i don't really eat cupcakes so i'm not going to become the fat kid, hai is!

I am currently sitting on my cozy balcony, enjoying the weather and the company of my bichon, Sacha. I am also staring at the most despised flag in the country, the texas flag...hung at the same height as the American flag, like the two are equal or something. How did i end up here?

It will be officially two weeks on Saturday. I still have no job and no friends. Also, the sight of Hai is getting on my nerves. I think i need a job to continue my love for him. I didn't go to an interview today. I just couldn't. I knew they would offer me a job and i would have to take it because i have nothing else but i would hate it. i just couldn't bring myself to work in a place that i hate going into regularly. There are a few prospective jobs still out there and will hopefully have something by the end of next week.

People call to check on my and ask me about living in Texas, its sweet but also very hard to answer. Its always the same questions with the same responses:
Hows Texas?
its fine
hows the job search?
eh, alright
sounds like you're unhappy
no, i'm fine
so what else is new?
nothing, i've been to the gym everyday
well thats exciting, way to go
thanks, i only go to watch TV since i don't have it here
ohh, well at least you're just sitting around all day
yeah, i get bored of doing nothing after a few hours
so, guess who i saw last night at the bar?
oh, you went out last night?
yeah, it was soo much fun, too bad you're in Texas otherwise you could have come!
oh yeah, i wish i could have, i have no friends here
oh you'll make friends...so this girl was soo drunk so we all left and went to play beerpong
thats cool
yeah it was really really fun, you totally missed out! well it was good talking to you, keep me updated
okay i will
bye
bye

yes, i wish i could have been there, yes it sucks that i am here! i am in fucking Texas!
but i'll make friends, i will find a job, everything will be just fine

i getting bored with my life, everyday i think of a new activity to do after i browse the web for an hour looking for jobs. yesterday it was to find the closest Banana Republic so but an outfit for these interviews i am going to have. so i drove around Flower Mound/Lewisville for close to an hour and never found it. i even called the store and asked where it was located and the girl couldn't tell me. so after that activity i came home, too tired to make a real dinner so we had sandwiches.